


what's a confession of love between friends?

by oneill_twoLs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, POV Steve Rogers, Pining, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 20:26:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15517917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneill_twoLs/pseuds/oneill_twoLs
Summary: Steve is pining, okay, he can admit that. And he can pinpoint when it started, too, when he started realizing he wasn't jealous of Bucky for getting all the dates, he was jealous of the girls (so very many girls) who got to date Bucky. And it didn't matter that they didn't last, none of them did, because Bucky was still dating them. Taking them out. Smiling at them. Laughing. And then sometimes he would invite Steve, too. Like it wasn't bad enough to see his best friend go out on dates with people that weren't him, he had to go out with him and witness it all first hand.





	what's a confession of love between friends?

They've been best friends forever and Steve is pining, okay, he can admit that. And he can pinpoint when it started, too, when he started realizing he wasn't jealous of Bucky for getting all the dates, he was jealous of the girls (so very many girls) who got to date Bucky. And it didn't matter that they didn't last, none of them did, because Bucky was still dating them. Taking them out. Smiling at them. Laughing. And then sometimes he would invite Steve, too. Like it wasn't bad enough to see his best friend go out on dates with people that weren't him, he had to go out with him and witness it all first hand. And he couldn't even enjoy the dates (on the odd occasion the girl gave him a second glance) because he was hung up on his best friend.

But the worst moment, probably, comes when Bucky says "Steve, can I tell you a secret?" And he admits that maybe he might be into guys, too. How do you really know? But, you know, the idea doesn't repulse him and there was a guy in the bar that offered him a drink and Bucky thought, "Yeah, that could be okay with me." And Steve hates himself but he has to ask if Bucky said yes and the response is, "Nah. I thought about it but... wasn't the right guy. Made me think though, you know?" And Steve is like "I sure fucking do, pal" but it's not the right moment to tell Bucky about his colossal feelings for his best friend. This is Bucky's moment. Steve won't step on that.

So Steve just... is in a holding pattern. But one night Bucky comes home looking a little tousled but with a smile lingering on his stupid face and Steve asks if Bucky had a date and Bucky says, "Something like that" and Steve says it must've been quite a girl to keep Bucky smiling like that. And Bucky looks up from under his eyelashes (how does he do that when he's taller than Steve?) and says "Wasn't a girl." Steve can't help it, his face fucking shutters and he's all strangled when he says "That's great, Buck" even though he's not sure he means it. Then Steve tucks his sketchbook away and starts getting ready for bed but when he comes out of the bathroom Bucky's cornered him.

"Your mouth says 'that's great' but your face says 'that's disgusting' so which is it, punk?"

Steve's voice is soft, like if his voice is soft it will be impossible to hurt Bucky, when he says, "Bucky no, it's not like that."

"Then tell me what it's like?" Bucky says, and Steve is fed up and in love with his best friend and tired of hiding it and if loving him but not saying anything is going to ruin their friendship anyway he might as well confess. People have called him a lot of things, but he's never been a coward.

So Steve looks up at Buck and says, "It's not that you went out with a fella," and Bucky scoffs so Steve raises his voice because no one does righteous indignation like Steven Grant Rogers and says again, "It's not that you went out with a fella," and lingers until Bucky raises his chin and looks him in the eye before Steve brings it home with, "It's that you went out with a guy that wasn't me."

And Bucky's mouth parts a little bit in the way it always does when he's been caught off guard and Steve's given him something to really think about, something valuable and vulnerable that Bucky has to handle with care because for all the fire and brimstone that tiny Steve Rogers is, he's also still that tiny guy with eighteen different illnesses that means he's been blessed with 18 different miracles that he's stuck around this long.

The second phase of Bucky thinking through Steve's revelations comes with a furrowed brow and there are still a couple steps left before he's processed enough to talk and probably not put his foot in his mouth, so Steve pushes by him. And Bucky is standing so close--probably because he was ready to sock Steve if he didn't say the right thing--that his shoulder brushes Bucky's chest and he wills himself to keep moving instead of sinking into Bucky's warmth. Bucky is always so warm and Steve is always so cold, like ice is running through his veins, and he moves to the bedroom to crawl into bed and hope the heat stays on that night, that they can afford to keep it going, that he won't need Bucky to be his personal space heater and make sure Steve doesn't catch his death in the middle of the night. Steve would rather die than handle the indignity of it all, of telling his best friend that he has a crush on him, to hear that Bucky doesn't return the feelings, and then still need Bucky to warm his bed. He couldn't handle it.

And then, sooner than Steve expects, Bucky's pushing into the bedroom and saying "You're a goddamn idiot" which isn't exactly news to Steve but the way that Bucky's (plush, insane, stupidly pink) lips crash down onto his well, that's new. Sometimes, Steve thinks, being a reckless idiot is worth the potential pain. Especially when Bucky's there to patch him up, or to hold him together, or to slip his goddamn tongue into Steve's mouth, jesus christ.

So... maybe they're both idiots. Bucky maintains that Steve should've said something a little (a lot) sooner but Steve doesn't think so.

But then they're lying in bed and they aren't wearing clothes but for once Steve isn't cold and he says, "This doesn't change anything."

Bucky says, "The fuck it doesn't" and Steve, without needing clarification--because it's Bucky and Steve might not always know what to say or how to react but he still knows Bucky's heart and his mind and what he was thinking--says, "That's not what I meant, jerk," because of course it changes their relationship, they'll be doing this a lot more often, but "You're still going to basic."

Bucky sighs that long-suffering sigh that seems to be reserved for the colossal idiot that is Steven Grant Rogers and says, "Yeah and you're going to get rejected from a half dozen more enlistment offices, so what?"

"'s what I mean," Steve sighs. "Nothing's changed."

This time, he knows, Bucky gets it. He doesn't need the way Bucky presses a kiss into his bare shoulder to tell him that.

Steve just gives a short hum of acknowledgement because, yeah, that's about it. Some things have changed but really, what's a confession of love between friends?


End file.
